she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
