My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
