I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
