To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Sober January is a disaster.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
