i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
