Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
