I molested 6 butterflies tonight
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
