I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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