Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You may now shotgun with the bride
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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