My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
