Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
