Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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