hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
