She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
