If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Operation Purity has been aborted
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
