Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
