I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Come on in and take your pants off
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