You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
