Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
