go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
