As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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