lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I need water and some morals
Randomize
