only if we run a train.
done.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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