and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
