Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
