Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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