God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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