I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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