You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
