garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just gift wrapped bread.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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