I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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