I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
so much tequila, so little girl.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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