some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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