Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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