i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
