U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
That's when you crack a 10am beer
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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