she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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