I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
