i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
