No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
