I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
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