He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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