I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
