my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
