and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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