It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
