How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
