I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i was born a porn star she said
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
