Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
