Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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