after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
